Live.to.the.point.of.tears

I spend 50% of my day writing books, 25% of my day thinking about what I'm going to eat next, 12% of my day chilling with my dog, 8% of my day bitching, 3% of my day drinking wine, and 2% of my day lamenting the fact that I'll never have abs like Marrissa Miller. That might not even add up to 100%, I don't know, I don't really like math.

Bear Mace to the face.

My friend is going camping, so he bought a canister of Bear Mace. Bear Mace is like regular people mace, except it’s 4 times as potent and shoots out in a fire-hydrant-style cloud that travels up to 30 feet.

I want it. I already have one candidate. You won’t be so snarky and mouthy with your eyeballs melting out of your skull, now will you, doll.

xoxo

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Take me, I am the drug.

— Salvador Dali (inspired by vixeninthecity)

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"That's the ugliest f-ing skirt I've ever seen."

I hate it whenever a chick doesn’t like another chick everyone chalks it up to, “Ohhh, she’s just jealous.”

Be 100 percent sure — I do not wish I had anyone else’s life but my own.

A lot of girls look good on paper, but real confidence means that you being accomplished or beautiful or the center of attention will never threaten me.

Saying someone is just jealous only belies your crippling lack of confidence. Which actually amuses me.

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Aug
25th

Mon

… everyone was crying like it was the end of the most beautiful love story.

— from the funeral of Yves St. Laurent

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